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If I had one wish that I could wish this holiday
season, it would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing
together in the spirit of harmony and peace.
If I had two wishes that I could wish for
this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to
join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace.. and the second
would be for $30 million a month to be given to me, tax-free in a Swiss bank
account.
You know, if I had three wishes that I could
make this holiday season, first, of course, would be for all the children to
get together and sing . . . the second would be for the $30 million every
month to me . . . and the third would be for all encompassing power over
every living being thing in the entire universe.
And if I had four wishes that I could make
this holiday season, first would be the crap about the kids . . . second
would be for the $30 million . . . the third would be for all the power..
and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year for an extended
31-day orgasm, to be brought about slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model
Paulina somebody, I can't think of her name, of course my lovely wife could
come, too. She's behind me 100% on this, I guarantee you.
Wait a minute, maybe that sex thing should be
the first wish! So, if I made that the first wish, because, you know, it
could all go boom tomorrow, and then what have you got? No, no . . . the
kids singing would be great, that would be nice. No, no, who am I kidding! I
mean, they're not gonna be able to get
all those kids together! I mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible!
It's more trouble than it's worth!
So, we reorganize: here we go. First, the sex
- we go with that; second, the money. No! We go with the power second, then
the money, and then the kids. Oh, wait, oh geez! I forgot about revenge
against my enemies! Okay . . . revenge against all my enemies, they should
die like pigs in Hell! That would be the fourth wish! And of course, my
fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing
in the spirit of peace and harmony.
Thank you, everybody.
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